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I sat atop Chairman Dick's Erection for the first time in a few years yesterday (ooh err missus!!) which gave me a birdseye view of a couple of disappointing points from yesterday...
The Crap crowd.
10474..according to the official beancounters even allowing for another pee-she away support...
Time for a wee side rant here...4-500 max for a game 70 miles away from home when your sides involved in the auld relegation dog fight... A "Dee for life" ?? my fookin eirse !!! A few years back 2000+ of them turned up as they sealed a Top 6 place...Christ if they were Huns/Tims we'd be callin them gloryhuntin bassas and askin where were they when they were Raphael
Scheidt ?
Mind you that the Jute turn out would be crap was a given...
The biggest disappointment was the Reds turnout. Now we've rightly received praise for the numbers and fair racket we take on our travels...sadly for this game many Reds appeared incapable of finding our home wi 2000+ AWOL fae last weeks win o'er the Cabbage Ribs. It depressed both me and RowZ to nae see the usual "2.59 Bleezin crew" pourin oot the pub and staggerin doon the Merkland Road...No..the crowd really was gonna be that bad...the 'Y' in particular lookin very spartan it has to be said.
The other disappointing feature I noticed from my eerie was what passes for our "Pitch". Now I knew it was bad...but fae atop the RDS you realise just HOW awful it is. Last time I saw a pock marked surface like that was Paul Wright's coupon circa 1988. On the 'Y', you cannae really appreciate how bad our Passchendale meets "Pussface" Wright playing surface is.
Best way I can describe this game is by dealing first with our opponents and the way they played.
Dung-deh's tactics were akin to those adopted by thon 'ither Red Army to recapture Stalingrad...they threw themselves in front o the Wermacht machine guns and Tiger tanks etc armed wi nothing more than a rather sharp stick..and lo wi very little skill (and wi Lee Wilkie and Bobby Mann ye can hardly do anything else) every Reds attack was scrambled clear by a Dee throwin himself in the way of the ball.
Has to be said though that Dung-dehs desperate defendin was helped by the Reds frustrating ability to either cut inside, allowing Dung-deh to flood the box wi Blue shirts or make one pass to many and allow Dung-deh to...och
you know the rest.
In the first half, only Mackie seemed capable of movement..now I know Mackie is "Official Scapegoat" for many Reds but he appeared to me to be the sole guy in a Red shirt willing to take the initiative and actually try and create something and with the entire Jute squad camped in their penalty area we had to resort to long range pops.
Winter had a decent dig and SuperKev smacked een off the bar but until the hour mark those were the only "highlights".
Incidentally, SuperKev...who else thinks he's almost completed the transformation fae "a bitty lightweight half back" to attacking midfielder? Next season should see him come into bloom in this opinionated baldy buffoon's view.
And now folks...cue theme music..maybees a wee drum roll...it's time for...
"The Weekly Noel Whelan" Debate.
This weeks "Whee-Lan Moment" was around the hour mark..
We're on the attack...a Jute defender is fallin over and about to pap it out for a throw in and oor Noel decide to boot him into the air...this pointless foul brings a chorus of the "Wheeee-Lan...Wheeee-Lan" fae the RDS..much to
RedLineRed's chagrin.
He had a point..a daft pointless foul gets a round of applause?....Nigel Pepper made a career out of that...dinna recall any "Pep--Perrrrrr" chants do you ??
Two minutes later though..
He gets the ball 30 yards out..looks up...and lofts one skywards... I'll let me and RowZ's conversation at the time take it fae here...
"Aw what the foo-ks he dein ??.. at's foo-kin useless..he's nae, tryin
tae??..he foo-kin is !!...OH WHAT A FOO-KIN GOAL". (or something like
that)....cue a round of "Wheee-lan" chants directed towards RedLineRed.
Hypocrisy..ye cannae beat it eh ?
Ok so 3 goals in the last 4 games is a nae bad record..but having seen us resign money grabbin mercenaries in the late 90's who played like shi'ite until their last 6 months then played brilliant...we gave them new deal and lo and behold they go back to being shi'ite...until their contract has 6 months left (repeat to fade)...
So still a lot to do for Whee-Lan for me.
Now during the game I mused how badly Russ was playin to Row Z "his worst game in ages" I reckoned...the sarky git he was remarked "Aye at least since the Arabs game eh ?"
God knows whether it was a shout fae Esson but he sold the proverbial jerseys on Saturday...a trundling free kick is bobbling thru to Esson...Russ freezes and Tam McManus cannae believe his luck fae 3 yards oot. God forbid Russ is put up against Inzaghi and co in Milan on Saturday based on his performance against the Jutes.
Now I left (work I swear) just as they were announcin that there would be 3 minutes injury time..but RowZ assures me the 3 minutes were identical to the previous 90.
As I've said before in this column (or calumnity if ye like)...no enuff entertainment or guile (which may explain the poor crowd) fae the Reds....ok this year,but more of the same next season and the muffled grumbles on Saturday will become slightly mair vocal.
As for Europe ?...
Well our three way scrap wi the Reekie sides was always gonna be as twisty and turny as a twisty turny thing anyway. Next up is the first ever "Derby Du Nord" up in Sneckie (wi more than half the crowd backing the Reds) take anything from that and if the Jambos get skelped by Shellick as expected and we'll still be sitting pretty come the post split run in...
So didnae book that week long fitba/spliffed up trip to Holland in July "cos it's gonna be our only Euro trip" just yet...
As for Dung-Deh ?...Twelve years and counting...hope they didnae go down as we've surely got to end this damn streak afore they drop down to their natural level.
The Red Avenger