All You Need Is Hate

Apologies to John Lennon and the Beatles like, but for a cracking atmosphere at a game...Hate is all you need. Thon Chinese blokes Ying and Yang hud the right idea...to truly appreciate and love something ye've got to hate something. This applies to fitba clubs around the world, and I come fae the generation o Reds brought up to love the Dons and to truly hate and despise the OF in all its forms.

The times they are a changing though...having taken our terraces and our right to bevvy and smoke, the moral guardians have now turned their attention to the songs we sing. Now, for me, being offensive and libellous about opponents is an essential part of the game...in fact if the UN were to draw up a Charter of Supporters Rights, the right to be offensive about yer opponents should be number one on the list.

I may sing about the fact Erinbra fowk are AIDS-ridden junkies, Weegies are tea-leafin jakies and Dundonians are Albanian clothes-peg selling pikeys, but I don't mean or believe it in the same way I accept they don't actually believe that I have carnal knowledge of sheep...It's a fitba thing ken!

Which is why in the aftermath of the Buns finally getting their comeuppance fae UEFA after Villareal, I've got to admit I was wary of joining the euphoria and gloating that justice had finally been done to the poisonous bigots in their support.

You see the truth is unless I take the morally offended pills, what they sing disnae bother me that much. Oh dinna get me wrong, clamping down on sectarian singing is undoubtedly a good thing as was clamping down on monkey chanting racism a generation before. It's just that I think banning any songs is a bad thing as it sets a dangerous precedent.

This disnae mean I approve of them singing their garbage about being up to their knees n'at and I certain dinna understand the relevance of some victory in battle in a 17th Century Irish bog by some hunchbacked shirtlifting Dutch dwarf to Scottish fitba or for that matter an organisation of Bank Robbing Child Murdering Gangsters in Balaclavas fae the other mob who add superfluous 'H's to ehevry fhuckin whord either.

The problem is that, with their penchant for 'whataboutyousery', in an effort to dodge and deflect, I knew that the OF would start to pick out songs from everybody elses songbooks...for if the OF go down you can rest assured they do their damnest to drag us down with thier pox-ridden carcasses.

The first shots were fired almost immediately by Gordon Smith and Murdo McLeod who took the phrase 'offensive songs of a political and relgious nature' and concentrated on one word: 'offensive'.

This theme was picked up by Martin Bain last week and seemed to be endorsed by David Taylor...though I'm pretty certain that when the SFA do release their new guidelines on whats acceptable or not, it will be so vague and undefined that the Buns could all turn up at Ibrox in KKK robes wi 'FTP' emblazoned on the front and burning effigies of Il Papa Nazi and only receive a strongly worded letter warning them of their future behaviour.

Of course where Rangers lead, the Record are sure to follow (follow) and sure enough this week along side the obligatory 'Anderson to Huns' exclusive, we've had headlines about Dons fans facing arrest for singing about the Ibrox Disaster.

Now I have no problem with what John Morgan said....no matter what you think of the Buns, that day 66 of them went to a fitba match and didnae come home. No matter how you try to spin it, songs glorifying and revelling in that tragedy are vile and should have no place within our support.

It's just that it would be nice if for once someone from the club actually stood up and said: 'Yes, of course we have no problem condemning those who sing about the Ibrox Disaster, and fortunately our support haven't sang about it for years.'

Of course seeing as this is the Record we're talking about, it is possible that this is exactly what Morgan did say and they just chose not to print it, but this is John Morgan who seems to loath the support whose security he is responsible for. Lest we forget he slammed us for throwing damp paper aeroplanes after an Ultras display...aye John, paper aeroplanes, they're the most lethal weapon known tae man so they are...well, after that season ticket book that almost killed Stench Hateley that time obviously.

I'm not gonna claim the song about the Ibrox Disaster is never sang or been completely eradicated but it certainly has been from the terraces. I havenae heard it being sang at Pittodrie or Ibrox for the last 3 years. In fact the only people who have heard it are the fascist fantasists on a certain website who give it a tune and lyrics no Red has ever heard of let alone sang: 'Whos that lying in the stairwell' anyone? Nope, I've never heard of it either.

Being generous it's a misheard version of another song we'll deal with shortly, or at worst it proves there are sick individuals within the Huns support willing to cause pain and suffering on those who lost relatives and loved ones at the disaster by knowingly falsely claiming Aberdeen fans were mocking their loss to score cheap points.

What makes this even worse is that the certain elements of the Weegia have picked this up and treated it as gospel...like the Record, and in particular an insignificant oik named Darryl King, who, when challenged on how he heard a non-existant song, could only bluff and bluster and say he had heard it.

It's time for the club to state categorically that whilst it has undoubtedly been sang in the past (and offer unreserved apologies for this) the Ibrox Disaster song has been removed from the Red Army song book and anyone falsely claiming we do sing about it is causing unnessecary pain to those who suffered loss, and any journalist or media outlet making unfounded allegations will face a summary ban and revoking of privileges from Pittodrie.

As for the 'Who's that lying at Pittodrie'...well this one's a tougher one.

After all, whilst it's undoubtedly tasteless and offensive, it is about an incident in a football match. It is hard to envisage the blanket banning of almost every football song that the SFA could take actions over, and lets face it no matter what I say it's gonna be sung...after all, if, as we found for the last generation, you want a rise out of the Huns then it works EVERY time, so until the day the Buns don't react it is gonna be sung.

However I think it is time for it to go. Both players are now long retired and why do we need to dirty the name of one of greatest ever players by associating him with an overrated kebab shop brawling racist ned who destroyed his own career when a simple 'Simmie Simmie' chant expresses exactly the same sentiments and has similar wind up capabilities?

If ye want to sing it fine go ahead I winna stop ye but if you do then don't by too surprised if reports of our glorious victory tommorrow are spoiled by references to 'ruined by Dons fans singing about the Ibrox Disaster and Iain Durrant's injury'.

Like it or not, the OF have begun the not inconsiderable task of cleaning up their act. Last weeks game was described as the least poisonous ever and the new moral guardians of fitba now have their guns trained on the Red Army...why give them the ammunition to load the gun? We have a broad enough songbook to noise up and wind up the Buns anyway...binning an outdated ditty shouldnae be too much of a loss.

You never know, ye may actually be preserving the right of future generation of fans to be as offensive as they wish...worth thinking about I reckon.

The Red Avenger